The Kissing Booth
by Nature9000
Summary: Freddie writes his reaction to his actions toward Sam, and what happened after Shane came in the picture and after the events at the kissing booth.


The Kissing Booth

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, why would you say such a thing?

A/N: Thoughts in _italics_, speech in regular. WARNING: This discusses events from the episode iSaw Him First. If you haven't seen that episode yet, then you might not want to read this yet. I don't think there will be a problem, though. You can even see the episode on Turbonick.com

A/N: Hey Colors, this one's for you here. For everyone, if you haven't read Colorsofthesky101's take on iSaw Him First, check it out! "iHave A Reason" This is almost like a sequel to it, though it's not.

-ENJOY THE STORY-

Freddie stepped out of the hospital room where Shane was lying, it was sorrowful that he fell down the elevator shaft, but at least he survived. Freddie crossed his arms and glanced toward Sam and Carly, they were walking side by side now. Carly had run back in and kissed Shane, thinking no one saw her, but Freddie had noticed. He had been standing at the vending machine the entire time, thinking about various things.

It didn't bother him too much when Carly did that, it only made him laugh at the fact that she tried to keep it hidden. People didn't seem to know that even his friendship with Shane had suffered. After all, Shane knew about Freddie's crush on one of the girls, and he hadn't wanted to get involved with both girls. Yet, it got Freddie upset; even when it looked like Shane was about to successfully kiss the girl he liked. Freddie had his arguments with Shane over them, and they came deathly close to ending their friendship. They might have been at each other's throats if the girls hadn't decided to give up.

Freddie glanced to the side and saw Sam and Carly in the distance, they were no longer walking and looking his way, calling for him to join them. He could tell they had been talking about him, since Carly was looking at him with slight anger and Sam looked a bit upset. Of course, something sent a pang through his heart, it was a sickening feeling. He frowned and waved his hand through the air, signaling that he was going elsewhere. Before turning around to walk away, he made note of Sam's face, seeing that it was very broken.

He sighed and walked down the hall, not really catching Carly's calls for him to go ahead and walk with them. He just didn't feel like walking with them at the moment. Freddie shoved his hands in his pocket and narrowed his eyes as he turned the corner. His mind was playing the latest argument he had with Shane, it was going through his head over and over again. Shane was yelling at him about something, something important, and Freddie was yelling back, trying to defend himself. Of course, this heated argument took place just hours before Shane's fall, and Freddie felt guilty enough about that.

Freddie glanced toward a doctor walking the halls, it was Mrs. Puckett, getting off from her shift. She stopped and smiled when she saw him; he merely shifted his eyes upwards and asked her for a ride home, she agreed to do that for him. They walked out of the hospital and toward where Sarah parked her car, then they got in and drove off, not a word was spoken. When they reached the apartments, Freddie gave Mrs. Puckett a thank you and walked toward the building.

Once inside, Freddie walked through the lobby and ignored the constant screams that Lewbert released. He was already annoyed as it was, and most of the annoyance was probably centered on himself. Freddie narrowed his eyes and pressed the elevator button, leaning against the wall and waiting for it to open. He wondered how Lewbert actually got any residents, from the whole screaming bout that he had. He figured they should replace Lewbert with the hotel manager in Boston, that one would be a million times better. Of course, Freddie once more shrugged and didn't care.

The elevator doors opened, and Lewbert screamed about noises. Freddie scoffed and entered the elevator, pressing the button for his floor and waiting as the elevator doors closed and began moving. The doors opened once more and Freddie exited, walking the hall to his apartment door. He glanced back at Carly's door and heard the sounds of Carly and Sam laughing, or he thought it was laughing. At second glance, it sounded like someone was crying while the other person was comforting. He couldn't tell who was crying, but he was sure the person mentioned his name.

He shrugged and opened his door, entering and seeing his parents on the couch, sleeping. It was late at night, and he figured they fell asleep while waiting for him. He closed the door behind him and locked it, since he was going to head to bed soon, anyway. Freddie walked into his room and removed his shirt, he never slept in a shirt, since he would always start burning up. He moved onto his bed and propped himself up against the headboard. Next to his bed was an end table, and on it rested a lit lamp and a journal with a pen. Freddie took the journal and gripped the pin in his other hand as he opened the book. Inside of it had several days, weeks, and years of writing, it was something he had kept for something to turn to when he needed. Freddie turned to a clean page and began the entry of his day.

_October 2__nd__ 2008, the bastard returns._

_Yeah, it's me again, Freddie. Well, it seems everything's working out just perfectly! I don't think I have to worry about my friendship with Shane, it seems that it'll be just as perfect as everything else going on right now._

_"You ask me if that was sarcasm or not, I say it was. I suppose I've failed to write in the past few days, so let me get back to you. The girls, yes you know who I'm talking about, Sam and Carly met up with my friend Shane. I don't really regret them meeting him, but I hadn't expected them to go crazy over them! They got into this fight and ultimately decided that whoever kisses him would be the one to date him. Oh well hell, why don't you rip my goddamn heart out, eh?_

_I apologize for my language in the last sentence, but come on! Carly, I can deal with, as you should know. I don't really give a damn who dates Shane or not, that's right, I don't care. Okay, so maybe I do care, I cared earlier when I said I wanted _Sam_ to win the whole kissing thing. You should know, I've been doing that for years, right? For years I've been telling them all that I love Carly, for years everyone sees it as true, correct? Well, you want to know something that you may already know? I'm a jerk! I'm an asshole, a dick, a bastard, and whatever other insults you want to call me!_

_Listen, Shane knew who I liked, and he got upset with me afterwards. I've noticed the looks on Sam's face every time I said I loved Carly, and I know the exact reason why she treats me poorly. I'm shocked she doesn't treat me like she does Gibby, I fu…" _Freddie stopped writing and quickly scratched out the word that he was about to write, he didn't want to have to include that. _"I would deserve it if she treated me like him._

_Face it, all through the years, Sam has given me pained looks, looks that tell me just how hurt she is. I know when I first started saying I liked Carly, I just wanted Sam to notice me. In fact, someone once told me that if you want to date a girl, you should get to her through her best friend. That was probably the worst advice I could have ever asked for. I don't know why, but I could never stop. I guess I just got a thrill out of her reaction, and maybe I just got a thrill out of those arguments we've had._

_Sam, she's a sweet and loving girl, and I would do just about anything for her. I would love to make her happy and to make her smile, so why do I continue to hurt her? I know her feelings for me, and I know she feels bad that I don't return them. I should! As I said, I'm a bastard. I love her, and I can't do the right thing._

_Do you know how painful it was? You can't, you can't know just how painful it was to see her lying on that floor, faking unconsciousness and seeing Shane about to kiss her. Seriously, I just wanted to rip Shane always from her with all my strength and kiss her myself. God, she's so beautiful, and so pleasant…yet I keep hurting her. I'm an asshole, I know, and to top it off…I think I'm starting to sound emo here. It's just…there's no way you or anyone else can know how painful faking attraction to Carly really is. Nobody knows why I still do it, hell, I don't even know why I still do it! That's what Shane was yelling at me about the other day!_

_He was yelling at me for hurting Sam, and he was saying that I should not feign attraction for Carly. He was right, of course. Then, you have my damn brain over here that knows it, but just wants to put it in the back of my damned head. She's so much more attractive than Carly. She's precious, an angel in wolves clothing! I'll explain that, she's an angel, but nobody can really tell. They only see the tough, outer part of her, they don't see her soul. They can't tell just how beautiful and precious she really is, and they don't know why I would love her so much._

_How the hell can I tell her? I don't even know. I was about to when she had that kissing booth up, but then she said she wouldn't do it for so much money. This hurt me, but I knew I deserved it. Hell, I know she wanted to kiss me then, but I was so offended that I acted like a goddamn asshole in front of not only her, but everyone else, when I said I _wanted_ her to win and kiss Shane first! _

_I lied to her, I lied to myself, and I lied to everyone around me. I know my mistake, and I should have just put in that dollar anyway. I should have just embraced her with my arms, pulled her close, and kissed her lips. I had every opportunity to do that, I had every chance to tell her that I really wanted her and not Carly, but I'm too much of a jerk to do that. I'm addicted…I'm addicted to getting a rise out of her, and I know I shouldn't do that, and that it's wrong. Yet, whenever she insults me and calls me a dork, I feel like she's noticing me!_

_Well, yes, she would notice me even if I didn't say I loved Carly so much. I wanted to tell her I didn't mean it, I wanted to say that I was wrong, but then she brought out that water gun and soaked me. I deserved it, I honestly deserved that. I also deserved what I had to witness right after that, Shane was about to give her a dollar and kiss her. He was about to kiss the girl that he knew _I_ liked! I felt betrayed, and that's when things got nutty, that's when he told me that I shouldn't have hurt Sam._

_Okay, so then we started to get into a similar disagreement, and Shane told me that if he kissed Sam first, I'd have to get over her. Are you KIDDING ME! I can't just get over her, it's impossible. To get over that angel is like tearing the skin from my body and ripping out my heart. Of course, that begs the question, do I really have a heart? I'm so cold that I didn't see what Shane was doing, he wanted me to admit to Sam._

_Why didn't I think of it? He liked Carly more, but he was willing to risk a potential relationship with her for kissing Sam, kissing _my woman_. He said that at this rate, he would be better for Sam than I was, since I was just being a jerk. I don't think so, I don't think he'd be right for Sam at all. Hell, I told him, I couldn't just tell her that after I had just embarrassed myself and probably ripped her heart out at that kissing booth. God, if I could do that over again, I would!_

_Sadly, after the kissing booth, I had to help Sam win Shane. I had to help SAM kiss SHANE! My closest friend would have to kiss the girl of my dreams. Why the hell did I do that? Why the hell did I say that? Why the hell do I have to be such a bastard and hurt Sam the way I do? Why did she agree to me helping her? I know why, because she was hurt, but didn't want to admit it. She's afraid of the rejection, and that's understandable._

_Of course, she thinks I would reject her when I always say I love Carly. Her winning Shane would mean I get Carly, and that alone would have t o hurt her, but I can see she wanted to make me 'happy' by doing what I apparently made her think would make me happy. I was wrong, I always have been, and somehow I need to admit that to her. It wouldn't make me happy if she kissed Shane, hell no! That wouldn't make me happy at all, that would be like tearing the heart right out of my chest. Let me rephrase that, that wouldn't be 'like' it. No, that _would_ be ripping the heart out of my chest._

_So how would I go about telling her this? How would I manage to say that she's the one that I feel makes me who I am? Okay, that sounded corny, but come on! She's beautiful, inside and out. Unlike Carly who, don't get me wrong, she's a great person, looks like a pale and bony person. I know, that sounds bad, but really it's not. I mean, she's great and all, but she just doesn't attract me. Unlike Sam, who looks like an angel and is truly more special than any girl in the world._

_Okay, in case you don't remember Shannon, I just don't have a thing for overly peppy girls. Nor do I have a thing for ditzy ones either. Shannon was a mix of _both_, and Carly is way too peppy for my tastes. Ah screw it, there's no way I can defend myself from making myself look bad, I've already done it anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if Sam hates my guts by now. I suppose I would deserve that, though. I just don't know if I could accept it. I love her so much._

_What more can I say about her? Other than I think she's smart, in her own way. She may get low grades, but she is truly smarter than she makes herself look. She cares about everyone she knows, even though she doesn't act it and she puts up that tough side of her. I know that deep down, she has a pure soul and wouldn't want to hurt anyone intentionally. Take Gibby for example, she gives him wedgies, sure, but she'd never actually hurt him to the point of mutilation. Though I am afraid of him possibly striking back, and I swear, if he ever gets smart and tries to hurt her…I'm going to teach him a lesson myself, and _I_ am not like Sam, I will beat him up. _

_Have I told you that whenever I'm with her, the hours just fly by, and no one else is in our world. I know she thinks I'm the one who willingly convinced Jonah to date her, to enter our world, but it was Carly that did it. Carly was the one that convinced me to do that, and look what happened! The guy chose to cheat on her! _

_I would never hurt her like that, I hate myself for having to pretend to like Carly so much. I know that it hurts her, and I really shouldn't do it, dear god, I really shouldn't. I'm going to stop, but I don't know what will happen. I'm going to make sure to tell Sam how I really feel, but I don't know how she'll take it. I wouldn't be surprised if she never speaks to me again._

_ I wonder…she still has that kissing booth up, she hasn't taken it down yet and won't do it until early tomorrow morning. Maybe I could tell her then. Yeah, I should, I'm going to do just that, and you're going to help me! As for now, I'm going to bed. Let's just hope she can forgive this bastard that I am, and maybe we can be together…if not, then it's going to hurt like hell."_

Freddie groaned lightly and placed the journal on the table, he slowly moved under the covers and rested his head on the pillow. His head was pounding from stress and pressure, so all he needed was sleep. Tomorrow morning, he would leave as early as possible and meet Sam before she took down the kissing booth.

-NEW SCENE-

Freddie woke up to a completely dark room, he rubbed his eyes and glanced toward the clock, seeing that it was only five thirty. He shrugged and exited his bed, thinking that was plenty of time to get ready for school, and he could easily be there before Sam. All the way through getting ready for school, he had a confident smirk on his face. Soon, it was six fifteen, and he was ready to leave. "Why are you leaving so early?" Mrs. Benson asked while tilting her head to the side.

"Yeah son, normally you don't like to leave until eight," Mr. Benson stated. Freddie looked at his parents with a slightly impatient look, he didn't have any time to waste.

"I just have something I really have to do. I'll see you after school, love you guys." His parents smiled at him and watched as Freddie left the apartment. He knew that if things went well, it would be great, but if things didn't go well at all, it was going to be a very long day. He hoped things would work out and that Sam would believe him, he even had his journal in his backpack, just in case.

Freddie walked toward the parking lot and found his car, fortunately he had his drivers license, so he could get to school a lot quicker than usual. This was it, he was going to win his angel, and there was no way that he was going to waste another day or take another day to break her heart. Freddie drove toward the school with a look of determination and hope in his eyes. When he made it to the school, he parked and quickly hurried to the doors.

Freddie placed his hand on the door handle and paused for a second, his heart was pounding in his chest, threatening to stop working if anything should happen. He could feel the sweat dripping down the side of his face, and his stomach soon knotted up. He had to erase the nervous feelings, there was no way he could lose now. Of course, he had forgotten the only way to get in at this time of day was for the janitor to open the door, so he swallowed and knocked on the door, catching the attention of a nearby janitor.

The man came and opened the door, raising his eyebrow and watching as Freddie entered and walked past him, not speaking a word. All of the lights in the school were off, and the only light coming was from the doorway. Freddie stared down the hall and held his jaw firm as he slowly closed his fists, there was no turning back now. He grew determined and started walking down the hall, knowing that he would eventually enter the main area where the kissing booth was. Once he made it to the main area, he saw the kissing booth still erected, and Sam was nowhere near. He knew she wouldn't be there for a little while, so he had nothing to worry about.

Freddie quickly walked to his locker and opened it, placing his things inside. He could hear music coming from the band hall, they had always been in the school as early as six in the morning. Oddly, their music matched the situation perfectly. It seemed as though they were playing to a moment of his life, and right now it was a nervous and steady pace, one that Freddie could identify with.

He closed his locker door and pressed his back against a wall, trying to relax his nerves and take a breath. Soon, the music shifted and a choir of heavenly voices started singing. He raised his eyebrow and heard the doors of the school open, his eyes widened when he heard the soft voice of Sam saying hello to the janitor, and that she would start studying after cleaning up the kissing booth. Freddie chuckled and crossed his arms, so that was how she at least made a few good grades, she came to school early and studied. He raised his eyebrow as he heard Sam's soft footsteps and the angelic music that accompanied it.

It must have been by some freak coincidence, but the music seemed to shift and fit every situation. He started walking toward where the kissing booth was, turning the corner and stopping in his tracks when he saw Sam walking toward the booth. She had not seen him, nor had she expected there to be anyone there. Freddie watched as she stepped in her place behind the counter and leaned forward, placing her hand on the side of her face. It seemed that she was deep in thought.

Freddie closed his eyes and felt his heart pounding even harder. Now was the moment of truth, there was no turning back. Sam shifted her eyes toward where the music hall was as the music shifted to match Freddie's situation. She sighed and looked toward her empty tip cup, it wasn't like she wanted any tips for the charity anyway.

_"She looks so beautiful, but at the same time, so sad…"_ Freddie took a step forward and Sam lifted her eyes up, not really seeing him, since some of the shadows was covering him. _"They should turn on the lights, it's still a tad too dark in here."_

He took another step and Sam stood straight up and looked around, hearing his steps, and obviously growing slightly fearful of what she was hearing. Freddie closed his eyes and took a sigh, knowing that he had to stop being so afraid of talking to her. Freddie opened his eyes and smiled softly, knowing that he had to keep his confidence level up, since this was going to be one of the biggest moments of his life. Freddie started walking toward Sam and kept his gaze on her.

She shifted her gaze over and saw Freddie, her face fell slightly and he could tell she immediately started building her barrier. He couldn't let her do that, he had to tell her before she completely built up that wall. Freddie took out his wallet and looked toward Sam, smirking slightly, knowing that she went crazy over his smirks. She had told one of her friends that, and he overheard her. Sam looked toward him and paused when she saw his smirk. "Do you have time for another donation?" Sam felt the heat rising in her body as Freddie stepped directly in front of the booth.

"As long as…I don't think it's…" Sam stuttered and Freddie smirked slightly, knowing he had her. The band began to play a dramatic tone as Freddie moved the dollar in his hand and placed it in the tip jar. "What? _You_ want a kiss?" Sam looked toward the jar and saw a five dollar bill, her jaw fell slightly and she glanced toward Freddie. "Rodney failed, Rueben failed, Gibby failed, Jonah failed! What makes you think that I'm going to kiss _you_, dork?" The dramatic music heightened and Freddie made sure to keep a smooth and calm pace.

"Simple, I know something you don't know." Sam raised her eyebrow as Freddie walked around the booth, he could tell she wasn't done building her wall up. Freddie lifted his arms and wrapped them around Sam's waist, taking her by surprise. "I don't care what anyone says, I don't care if it's right or wrong, but Sam…I love_ you_." Freddie's heart started to beat harder and Sam gasped slightly. "I always have, and if this doesn't prove it, I have my notebook." The music changed to a slow and dramatic tone as Freddie carefully moved his lips toward Sam and embraced he lips with passion.

Sam gave a slight moan and closed her eyes as Freddie held his kiss, the music then blasted out in a triumphant tune as Sam wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Sam felt Freddie tighten his grip around her and hold her closer, heightening the power and strength of his kiss. He didn't care what happened afterwards, he didn't care if she slapped him or not, he just wanted to let Sam know how much he cared for her. So he put as much emotion in the kiss as he could. Soon he parted lips with her and gazed into her beautiful blue eyes. Freddie smiled at Sam as she blushed lightly.

"I win."

Sam was speechless, not knowing how to respond. She was completely taken by shock. She was still trying to take in the texture and feel of Freddie's lips, not believing what just happened, but loving it. "Freddie, what are you…did you mean to kiss me? You didn't think I was Carly, right? What are you doing here anyway? I…" Freddie once more brought his lips to hers, kissing her with as much passion as he could.

He lifted his head up and smiled at her. "I know you're not Carly, Sam. I also know I've been an ass for the last however many years it's been since I've first loved you. I just wanted you to notice me, and so I went for Carly, but I couldn't stop, though I knew I should. I knew I was hurting you, and I made the decision to stop hurting you." Freddie released Sam and took off his backpack, he opened it and reached in, grabbing his journal. "I think the best way to apologize is for you to read what I've written."

"Fine…" Sam took the journal and opened it to the last entry, her eyes widened in surprise and shock, she hadn't known any of that. "You mean all this time…I-I don't know what to say." Freddie swallowed slightly and thought for a brief second.

"Say you'll go out with me, perhaps after school." Freddie's heart was still pounding, he was so sure of rejection, but he was also sure he wouldn't reject him. Sam looked toward the journal once more and blushed slightly, she then smiled softly and closed the journal.

"I forgive you, Freddie. I don't think you're a bastard at all, maybe confused or something, but not a bastard. You really think I'm an angel…" Sam's blush seemed to intensify as she slowly closed her eyes. "I would love to go on a date with you after school. At least now you don't have to pretend to like Carly anymore…you never needed to. Competing with Shane to see who kisses me first…why mimic my interaction with Carly? Yes, what you did hurt, but it's fine now."

"So you will go out with me?" Freddie watched as Sam nodded her head in response. He then cheered inwardly and punched his hand in the air. "Yes! I knew it!" Freddie then kissed Sam with more passion than before, and the music changed to match the situation. At that, the lights in the school turned on and everyone entering the school stared in shock and awe at Sam and Freddie finally kissing in the kissing booth. _"I win."_

* * *

Heh, I hope you liked this. I think this makes up for the lack of Sam/Freddie interaction in that episode of iSaw Him First.


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